My name is Amanda, and I am addicted to food.

I've struggled with my weight all my life. I have dieted my way to morbidly obese and I'm still afraid to document my current weight. I could blame it all on my husband, after all, since our first meeting over 7 years ago, I have gained about 100 lbs. I could also blame it on 2 pregnancies, depression and the meds to go with it, boredom, living in las vegas for 3 years ( where there is no shortage of good food and buffets), I could blame it on a number of things. However, after viewing some pictures of myself at a New Year's party this year, and not recognizing myself, I am now ready to blame my issues with food and weight on my own lack of control.

I've been on this journey for a few years now, I've been learing how to let go and trust God. Apparently, He wants us to rely on HIm for everything. This is a lesson I know I am to be learning right now and at this very moment in my life. I recently had the opportunity to finally have an experience where I know with all my heart and soul that God is really there, He loves me, and wants me to trust him with everything. Knowing this and putting it into practice are 2 different things. It's hard to go from trusting only myself for the past 33 years to trusting Him for everything.. so my motto at this point in my life would have to be,One day at a time!

For one week, I have given up flour and sugar and successfully lost 3.4 pounds. YaY me! And Yay God! I learned of this lifestyle on the overeaters annonymous website. I should probably go to a meeting someday....I'm feeling that little nudge to do so(you believers will know what I mean)!

So, the reason I started to blog today is because sometimes we need a bit of affirmation as to why we do things, and today that happened and I said.."I should write a book, keeping notes for everytime this happens" I made that statement after looking at my bank account and I know just 2 days ago, there x amount in there based on everything that was out going. And in the meantime, our kitchen faucet bit the dust and had to be replaced to the tune of $88 that we put on a credit card and said we'd pay off with next weeks check, (not that the $88 would have broke us out of our bank account, but I don't like to go under my comfort zone). Anyways, I got on to check the bank account this am and after all the bills and checks cleared, the amount left was larger than what I had figured the other day. So, Jason (my husband) said, well go ahead and pay off the credit card for the faucet. I willingly did so, because I knew that God had something to do with the discrepencies in our account...there was no other explanation. When I paid the $88, our bank acct balance ended up at the exact amount I had origianlly calculated.. So There....God had provided for our needs...yet again. I have decided to keep this blog as a record of everytime these things happen so when I have doubts, I can go back and read them and be grateful for all the blessings I have been given.

I also think it is important to say right now that as of last week, we also made a decision to be obedient with our tithing as well. And before anything got paid, God was given his part that he asks for. Yet another part of the Journey that God has planned for me. I'm learning to embrace my struggles, and even be grateful for them. Because I know I am having that particular struggle for a reason, and the result will always be good....maybe not in the middle of all the difficulty, but when I have learned the lesson to be learned.

Just starting out

So my husband has been trying to get me to keep a journal for a long time now. It's therapeutic, he says. As is my usual fashion, I had to figure it out on my own. I just had one of those moments, where you realize something and as you smack yourself on the forehead, you say "I should write a book" So this is the beginning. I hope anyone who stumbles upon this will have their life enriched either by laughing at some of my craziness, relating to my struggles, or making changes in their life because of mine.